THANK YOU FOR WAITING!

Dear Love,

I know you love me.I can say it from your eyes. The way you act absolved once our eyes meet. It seems you feel insured for the moment! That I am still there for you. That I have not chosen somebody over you. It is almost the same for me.


All those heavy breaths that you unusually took in when our eyes missed, I want to repay them with smooches of plenty. It burns me inside when i feel of every ache that your heart had to go through when I smiled on purpose to another girl's lame joke.I feel sorry for every second that I passed without telling you that I love you too, that I want to embrace you forever!

Honestly,I have lost  control of my senses over you. What I thought of as a mere illusion of your mind had turned in to  love between our souls so deep, so pure.I can lie to you no more. I can no more act out with another girl. Enough have I done to make my mind believe that I can do without you, still the heart came out as superior.I want to break all barriers. I want to be madly and blindly in love with you.


Its so true that my cowardliness has betrayed our emotions; but I can't let that ruin our lives. I adore you for trying to give away the slightest possible sign of affection whenever possible. I am sorry that I ignored them all. I am sorry that I casually posted you as 'just another crush' in my memory lane. I am sorry that we did not walk holding each others hand when the road ahead was tough for you. I am sorry that I was not there for you for all those past moments; although you loved me the most.

 I don't want to reach those pinnacles where your love won't envelope me. I don't want to meet those success that our love cannot comprehend. I need nothing more than the precious purity of your love. There is no success that shall taste as sweet as your fragrance. With such pure conviction can I say that- there's no wealth that can even come close to your warm embrace. No mirror in this entity could reflect me as well as your eyes would. You alone can define love for me. You are bigger than universe for me, I wanna explore all the stars and galaxies within you. I want to be mystified by you. I want to take you to a journey within you.

Sorry, that I couldn't do anything extravagant this time around. I am just a man who can afford to play around with words. I am sure with your love these words of mine shall rekindle to form some of the greatest creations. We shall walk those moments of fame together. Together, we shall see all our emotions mingle. Together, we shall see a unison of a soul from two different bodies. We shall love each other so much that even if we were to sleep in different land we would  dream the same and talk about it the next morning. We shall share all our moments, whether they be in earth heaven or hell. Together for ever.

Desperately waiting to see the same gesture from your pair of eyes.

With lots of love!
S!

WHAT IS SEXY?

So what is sexy. Being sexy should literally mean you are attractive enough for the people of opposite sex(in most of the cases) to want of or at least think of having sex with you. However, things are ridiculous now-a-days with TV, music videos and all glamour. The thing sexy is completely a different thing. Today, being sexy is inextricably linked with what media portrays as "sexy".

When I went to watch a Hindi movie, this Laxmi Puja, one of the actresses kept explicitly stating herself as "sexy". To make that statement look relevant, the film started from a scene where she wore a bikini and dived into sparkling blue water. That is what most of us think sexy is. It occurred to me that irrespective of the actress, anyone(most of Bollywood actresses) wearing the same attire and carrying the same scene would have been tagged "sexy". So, I couldn't stop but think, were the wardrobe and the setup sexier than the heroine herself?

In some other cases, actors who are benevolent enough to strip off are considered sexy. That too surprises me. Neither of us are going to have actual sex with those highly rated, rarely reachable so called shining,hot celebrities. So, when they strip off, they must have lost their sexiness. I mean, if you are not going to have a sexual intercourse with a person, the next closest thing to be sexily close to him/her is watch them naked. So, to be "sexy" they must hide more than reveal, you know to keep that "sexy" curiosity going. Surprisingly, the media acts arcane and rates actors who reveal more as sexy. So, like a creed to be followed, actors continuously crave for movies that demands more of intimate scenes until either the viewers or their age get fed up of such nuisance. The rise and fall of such curiosity driven artificial "being sexy" culture is portrayed in the Vidya Balan's starer "Dirty Picture."

even the cartoons are to be blamed?

The media has presented another horrible prospect through its 24 hour "being sexy" bullshit. A "hero" in a movie  always has a muscular setup, and the heroine has a zero sized figure. Then, they are said to complement each other enough to make the sexy chemistry of the "true love saga" work, while all other shapes and sizes are ridiculously thrown away. Imagine, what would happen if all of the world were had men with six pack abs, and women with fair skin and a skinny figure? Maybe a overweight human would be told as sexy! Through continuous streaming of such propagandist agenda, people of personality other than that approved by the media, begin to impugn whether they are capable of nurturing a proper relationship. An over sized person, is always a subject of joke, and put as one who has to seek advise to date a girl/boy. And none protest to it.

Well, I realized these effects that media put into, when i recalled what sort of girls i got attracted to. In my early teens, i would have not picked a particular shape and size, while for now I certainly prefer the media fed "tall and slim" ones. Maybe, I was to grow this way or those actresses in movies made me think so: that may remain a mystery forever. But, it is certain that the media, is feeding wrong sense of being sexy into us. That is too detrimental as we shall spend more of our time, intellect and resources trying to be sexy in par with the actresses or the actors, who in fact have professionals to help their cause.

To sum it up, if you are a nurse, you are going to be sexy to a doctor, if you take care of your patient reliable and sincerely not necessarily by wearing what Jolie wore to the Oscars.

BURNING MEMORIES

Lot of us have memories, that trouble us. Memories that makes us feel dumb. Memories that makes us feel low. Memories that makes us feel betrayed. Memories that make us swallow our breath. Memory that twitches our chin Memories that makes us feel remorseful. Memories that make us feel derelict. And still, we can't figure a way to burn those thoughts.

A girl who dumped you for a drunk pervert. Parents who forced you to change your majors at University. Pet that died licking your dose of cocaine. The teachers who graded you low in a Viva because you were on flippers. Friends who left you in a middle of a fight. The child that left you in a old age home. These always remain in your mind. These always hunt you. They come in your dream to suffocate you. It leaves a musty grim patch in your brain. It makes your heart burn deep when you remember of it. But, still you can't kill those things.

So what?

Is your life ruined to hell? Just for petty shake of people who really don't care for you.

You have a way. Face it. And face it hard.

If you have written a poem for the girl as above. Don't burn it outright. Recite the poem every morning until you get the emotion and attachment out of it. Than its your literary creation.Not everybody turns into an Adele, but maybe you get to recite those poems in a college program or among your friends. If your pet dies licking cocaine, that you intended to sniff, maybe the best thing is to quit it. If the teachers graded you low, maybe you turn up to the University in flippers at Convocation day.That very day teacher are helpless and you feel powerful. If your child leaves you in an old age home, write a diary of every day there. Publish it. Or, try publishing it. It's worth trying. It's never too late. It's not a choice but compulsion when it's your time to act selfish to the ones that did it to you first. It's no revenge, it is an attempt to break the chain that surrounds your precious brain

The main thing that you need to remember is you need to burn memories, not physical things related to the memory. That is just not going to help. Instead look at them every once in a while, until you feel the attachment has faded away. Then nothing can shake you up at middle of the night. Nothing can make you feel low. And, finally you are the same man before the event. Once again you are ready to fight. Once again you are ready to dream.


Good Luck!

TWO KIDS! SAME STORY!!

There are numerous such kids but they  have almost the same story. Here, I try to bring into limelight stories of two such kids whose fate has taken them away from home, in pursuit of a little money and better fooding; however at expense of education. Two such kids that I have recently met are Shere and Azhmed Ali.I could have had their photos here, however a lack of proper camera phone is really taking a toll on my blogging. Although, I am trying to stick with my current set until the end of my engineering degree.

Shere: Shere is a delightful and humble kind of kid working at a restaurant near Kathmandu University. He must be of 10 years of age. He possess a beautiful smile and that coupled with innocence of tender age results into direct affinity from the customers, which the restaurant in itself seem to benefit from. His family lives at Koshipari, a rural setting in the hills of Dolakha, East from Kathmandu. Dolakha is where my forefathers have settled for generations. We  have close relatives and some property there. So, I find myself attached to people from Dolakha.

These two might just represent the kids.
Courtesy: http://www.fotothing.com/photos/

Shere was sent to school, but he did not take liking to it. He turned truant, left the school, probably hearing wonderful stories of the city and due to excesses of unnecessarily martinet teaching personnel. The teachers in Nepal, take physical punishment as integral part of the education system. This makes education a heavy duty for kids especially who have much to do at home or average at certain subjects.

Just before the Dashain vacation, as the number of customer withered away I got an opportunity to interact with him. He came to Kathmandu by himself with the cook of the restaurant- who is much older than him but he had somehow done schooling till the 6th grade. I wanted to make him return to the village, and begin to go back to school. He seem to shyly oblige. I along with the cook gave him some simple logic. Even if he had to do away with daily diet of meat and rice (that is a much better supplement in both taste and nutrition compared to what he gets back at home), he could make it up in his adulthood owing to better education. I reminded him, even to work in better paying restaurants of Kathmandu, education was essential since he needed to note down and read orders, calculate prices etc.

He might have got his lesson, in the tiny stint he had working away from home. He must have missed his parents and friends of his age. Now when he goes back home, he shall be a star among his friends and a nuisance among his parents and teachers. His wonderful stories of the city, the boys in well pressed shirts and smooth denim and girls with clean hair and fitting apparels would be new story to his pals. If this experience increases his morale and that improves his confidence in being a good student, it would really turn his life on its head. I sincerely hope and pray, he doesn't return back to the same hotel, and maybe I get to see him only after years as an educated smart man doing great at whatever he takes up in future.

Azhmed Ali: I met this kid just for a day, at the occasion of Phulpati. He must be aged around 8-10 (however I have a gross ability of guessing ages). He was at Tudikhel, and began voluntarily fielding for us. He would field at fine leg, a fielding position in Cricket where the ball tends to go regularly especially if u have average playing conditions. He was a prodigy if we are concerned with his cricketing ability. He threw the ball in a technical manner, fielded in bumpy outfield putting his body behind every ball and diving (not in the air however) to gather balls away from him. He just got to bat a few deliveries at the end, which is a very obvious however painful of a story of any young cricketer playing with adults. However, he swung  the bat which was relatively heavy for a kid of his age, above his head to connect bouncing balls and still managed to connect them to get them away up to conventional mid on position, that's like 40 yards away from his batting position.

As we returned, I asked him in which class he studied. He said, he did not go to school. That made me slightly angry. I don't know why but I felt angry for our country which would trade cheap labour out of these kids at a young age , and later make them a comrade of their stupid politics and desert their agenda after getting to power. He was from Janakpur. Regarding Janakpur, it has a strong connection with me. My mom was raised up in Janakpur. I was born in a hospital of Janakpur, and we constantly visited our great grandmother who resided in Janakpur until she passed away due to old age. We used to call her ghuyya aama ( as we had to travel in bus to reach her).I still adore visiting temples around Janakpur.

This poor kid, has his father working at one of the Gulf countries. His mother lives back in Janakpur. He was left by his dad to work at a Saree embroidery shop near Maitidevi. As Maitidevi is in my route back home, I offered him a ride in the Safa tempo. He had a monthly salary of Rs 3000 ( roughly US dollars 40). Surprisingly, he had a brother who studied back home. As we boarded the tempo, I showed him "Maitidevi" written in the rear side of the tempo. I told him if he had studied he would have understood it. As he seemed so interested in cricket, I persuaded him in another way. I asked him if he watched cricket in TV. He answered positive. I asked him if he understood scores written in TV. He said no. Perhaps, that moment he must have realized education was required even to be a cricketer. At least I pointed that out for him, and suggested he could enjoy the game even more back home at Janakpur.

I told him the same as that to Shere. Go back home and enroll in a school. Don't run away even if the teachers punished him. He promised me he would go home back after a month. I myself got off at Maitidevi, as it was Dashain time and I needed to fulfill my mother's desire of visiting temples. His teeth was all brown. I bought him a brush and asked him to brush regularly. He seemingly obliged. He promised to return back home in a month. I said I was a local of Maitidevi and  gently threatened him that it would not go down well with me if I was to see him again after a month. And out of nowhere, he brought up his hand to make a hand shake. I was surprised. A kid who was fumbling with words just an hour ago, now was confident enough to shake hands. I hope he thought of going back home, studying well and pursuing his dream to be a cricketer. I hope he would do good and luck would see him shake hands with the current rising stars of Nepal like Prithu Baskota and Chandra Saud who would be his seniors if he ever made it to the National team.

I will try to  remember these two kids for ever. And, if they made a name for themselves, I would selfishly draw myself some credit. Maybe, it was small time and money for me, but their experience with me might change their entire lives. Studying amateur palmistry, it occurred to me that smallest of the lines might have biggest of the impacts in a person's life. I just can hope that their encounter with me can change their life. May Durga Mata bless them both this Dashain.

UNSURPRISINGLY! NEPALI CRICKET is on the RISE!!

Well, the drama that lasted yesterday during the final of the ACC Elites trophy, the equivalent of Asia Cup for the non test playing nations of Asia, must be the closest and the most thrilling episode in Nepal's cricketing career. The espirt de corpes shown by the players, crowd in the stadium, and the cricket followers back home is in itself exciting and promising. More importantly, new generations of Nepali teens have heroes like Paras and Shakti to emaluate.

Picture tells it all!
courtesy Saleem Sanghati/ACC

The tie in the finale and eventually being the winner of the competition for the first time that too avoiding a defeat to the UAE only for the second time in ODIs in their own background not only depicts the statistical achievement but also points to the burgeoning confidence and mental toughness that the Nepali cricket team has begun to possess.

First of all, Nepal lacked a premier fast bowler via injury to Amrit Bhattarai and veteran Binod Das. So, Nepal  had to  chose to bowl first, in a pitch that looked good for batting. In the match that twisted and swayed from one side to other, at one point it seemed Nepal have given it all up after being in a good position to win the match up till the 45th over. The fragility and lack of power hitting lower mid order batsmen could have once again exposed Nepal and betray them of another hard fought victory. But, thanks to the resilience and the willingness to win, Nepal with help of a six from Gauchan and a well placed innings from Veshwakar, a good opening partnership and intelligent batting at the middle overs, achieved a tie and in doing so bagged two major titles back to back.

Among the associates nation, at least in Asia, only Nepal and Afghanistan seem to boast vivid popularity in cricket among their country men. UAE playing in their home turf were humbly outnumbered by the Nepalese audience. Afghanistan have progressed fast and developed a reputation of playing brand of 'fearless' cricket with their explosive batsmen and seriously fast bowlers. This have resulted in Afghanistan being a much better T20 side than a ODI side as the recent trend have shown. However, Nepal seems to be emerging from more conventional school of cricket. Nepalese team, it seems is trying to develop an all round team having all essential components that could perform in any condition and against any opposition.We have proper openers in Khakurel and Mandal, the middle order is sound with Malla, Khadka and Veshwakar. The lower middle order is a bit of a concern with its inconsistency and lack of muscling power. Airee seems to be the chosen finisher; however he has lot to improve on his technical aspect. Prithu being a more technically able batsmen, seems to be lost in singles in crunch overs. However both have the potential to rise to the occasion and more hard work and competition by likes of veteran all rounder Alam and  youngster Bhandari will keep them in check. Similarly, handy batsmen like Gauchan, Das and Regmi always seem to give hope of Nepal scoring a bit more run, even in pressure situations. Similarly, in the bowling department Nepal has consistent spinners in form of Gauchan and Regmi. Das with his experience and Bhattarai with his aggression make a good  opening combination. Similarly,players like Vishwakarma and Saud have risen through the ranks and are looking to cement their place. Nepal has widely benefited especially through skill of the skipper Khadka to fill in the spot of third seamer in spin friendly pitches and Prithu has rolled his arms over even in final overs of the match.

Howzzat People!
Photo courtesy: cricket.com.np

Now what Nepal needs is more competitive environment. Nepalese are genuine cricket lovers. It can be seen among the crowd in Nepal's domestic matches.  Every gully in Kathmandu, Pokhara and other towns especially in Terai are buzzed with regular score updates. Nepal is probably one of the few associate nations that telecasts its domestic games in a regular basis. However, the presence of skillful analysis of cricketing events in FM and paper (two widely popular form of communication in Nepal) is meagre. The recent success in Nepali cricket is moreover attributed to raw passion and talent along with skillfull training provided by the newly appointed coach Dasanayake. He has brought more international exposure into Nepalese cricket team that has certainly brought results. What we need now is better infrastructure for cricket, as we already have the success and the charm in being a National cricketer that shall lure more youngsters to stack up their pads for more hours or run a few more yards in every run up  to the stump. Pouring a bit more money into cricket annually, and creating proper living standards for cricketers will surely make Nepal a better cricketing team as we have the same emotional attachment to cricket as that of India or any other test playing cricketing nations.

The success and the charisma that Nepali cricket has brought to Nepal is such overwhelming that, Nepalese seem to have forgotten the old nascent combination of former monarchs Gyanendra Shah and his son Paras Shah, even if it is for match days, Nepalese tend to substitute the image of those two via their two most solid batsmen of Nepal, Paras Khadak(C) and Gyanendra Malla (Vc) in their neurons. We can't forget that Nepal is the poorest nation in Asia and we suffer from various limitations, however none can stop us from dreaming and paving a path to better cricketing future.Lets hope, this Nepalese cricket team rises and the players of today are attributed for Nepal being a ODI nation or lets even hope bigger a proper Test playing Nation.For that a passionate set of teens of 2012 must push their seniors to perform better and create a healthy competition for a place in the squad.

THE MYTH OF DEMOCRACY

Democracy has an unknown meaning. This particular word is said to be complete in itself. An unquestionable term, "democracy" is the key word in anything and everything around in the political, social and economic sphere. You can find democracy everywhere-from N. Korea's official state name to Putin's Russia, from Suki's Myanmar to India ,democracy is the buzzing word. However, the drawbacks of democracy have been ignored for a long time, which has resulted in underutilization of human potential. The alternatives provided by likes of Hitler, Mussolini,Stalin, Castro, Kim Jong Il, Dalai Lama, Khomeni has blinded our imagination to accept that democracy is the brink of human's political evolution i.e.nothing can pass the comfort that democracy has achieved for us. It cannot be further from the truth. With the rapidly increasing technology and educational revolution the current setup of democracy can't last forever.Until we dont erase the mindset that "we can't do better than democracy" things shall remain stagnant like it is at present.

via thenuancedphilosopher.wordpress.com

Democracy consists of voting. Actually, democracy means to vote for represantatives, not leaders. Like, if somebody's elected from a certain area of Rolpa, he is expected to stay among Rolpalis and represent them being a Rolpali. However, that seldom happens. Instead, these member of parliaments begin to take a role of being a leader. They tend to teach people, rather than learning from the people. These MoP, tend to pass a bill first and than explain its usefulness to the people later.This is a trend seen everywhere in the world. This is one of the loopholes of democracy since the persons elected and among whom legitimacy is provided to represent a group; begins to lead a group. Suddenly, the right of thousands of people to decide for themselves, remains in hand of a single person who himself believes to be the leader not representative of the group. So, it is a myth that self right is protected in democracy. It is just that we get to choose an autocrat every 4 years, and if we have luck we tend to choose the best among the autocrats not at all a democrat.

Second, democracy leaves us with very little of a choice. Yes, you may think we have a lot of choices. But they are infact limited in a mysterious way. If you want a presidential style democracy and non ethnic federal states in Nepal, you have zero choice.  If you vote for UCPN Maoist, they gonna give you the first choice but not the later. And, if you voted for UML or NC they gonna give you the second but not the first. So, you are asked to compromise. There are many such issues in which you shall find strangled. The problem is much of the population has got into the habit of leaving into a selected few that they don't even care. This phenomenon has been degrading democracy ever since its inception and has rather burnt down the hopes of the state trying creative but minority backed ideas.

Third, democracy is the rule of the mightier to the minnows. None are going to be as lucky as South Africans. Imagine the blacks in SA fought for their rights and won it even with a population vastly smaller than the whites. Could they have maintained the same momentum through the parliament? Absolutely not! And another series of systematic absuse of the blacks would have intitated.

Fourth, democratic institutions are all based on revolutionary acts, but they themselves are the appartus to supress it. The French parliament recently announced not to allow any Muslim protests in backdrop of release of a blashphemic movie in the US. The legacy of the French parliament goes back to the French Revolution as radical and as creative an idea, however it is such fearful of its own people, that too of a stunning minority in terms of population.

Fifth, democracy needs money to run. From running a political party like in ours to run a presidential campaign as in USA, money  plays a serious role. In fact in many previous elections in the USA the nominee getting the highest campaign fund has ultimately won the Presidency. This has developed illicit role between the hidden capitalists and the politicians. The policies are made in accord to these chosen donors though said to be representing the mass. In fact democracy has served as a disguise to serious economic crimes like the recurring recessions. If recession repeats every 3 decades, its only current day democracy that is preventing everyday people from breaking down the system. It is the last thing that demoralizes scholars who ought to challenge the current economic setup that is too much biased to the banks and corportaes.

There are many more drawbacks that democracy contains, too many leaks that can't be maintained forever. The world is just waiting for a revolutionary spark in one intelligent mind. That can be you. Don't stop thinking. Don't stop dreaming. It is almost sure that this skeleton of ragged and failed but still evasive form of democracy shall crumble and the propoganda that democracy is the best system shall just be another myth to be rewritten in the pages of history.

THE MICHAEL EFFECT

Sometime back, I read an article of a foreign educated young Nepali women who went to rural Nepal working for a program in an INGO. She reportedly felt like not being treated as their own, by the people in the field. This is a prime example of the "Michael"  effect. Compare a women, who would put lipstick in her cheeks to get that red look during her marriage to a sophisticated women who would not step out without a SPF leveled sunscreening cream.The difference is such that a mere closeness of 2-3 day is not enough to create homely interactions.Throughout the article she made genuine effort to indicate her willingness to serve Nepal, and her act of returning to Nepal in itself stands as a proof. However,she could have faced the situation better.

would you call this a skirt?

To those who have done schooling at Nepal, Jujuman is an interesting story included in Secondary level Nepali curriculum. The Michael that I am talking about is just the opposite of the Jujuman. The humiliation that Jujuman faced while visiting his relative in urban area, is nicely depicted in the story. Now, as more and more city based organizations are seeking to  take their programs to rural Nepal, more of educated and modern Nepalese are visiting the rural and ragged side of Nepal.These urban Nepalese are facing opposite however similar humiliating incidences as Jujuman.Back in my hometown in Sarlahi, some of my uncle used to call me "Ta tuh Michael bhayechas"; when I visited them during  occasions like Dashain. Covered with shining denim, and hair trying to point skywards, it certainly would have made me look like more of an alienated phenomenon than a village boy they searched in me. If somebody would put an earphone
(especially those bigger ones) and murmur some foreign songs coupled with fancy sun glasses; that would make him look a perfect "Michael".

Here are some points which if taken care of could save you from being a Michael.

a. Dress Up: Don't dress what's fashionable in Kathmandu or Paris. It shall look nothing but alien to the rural people. Dressing unorthodox shall attract unwanted precaution and shyness while interacting. Simple shirts and soft jeans shall serve well.

the man on the left has the perfect dress up

b. Language: Don't mix English words until absolutely necessary. Most of the words that we use for granted like washroom, cupboard etc sounds too foreign. These shall create a negative impact in your audience and create a wider gap. Try to explain technical terms in as detailed way as possible. An engineer may be habituated to call a "suspension bridge" but  saying "Jholunge Pul" creates a world of difference.If you are staying for a long time, try to make use of the local language.

c. Lifestyle: Try to adapt to the way the people are living. Try to have the same food, in the same manner. Don't try to be picky and particular. Maintain basic cleanliness but don't give an impression that the whole surrounding is allergic.Try to know more about people and try to accommodate yourself to their day-to-day life.

d. Attitude: Don't have an attitude like you are the learned and command high respect. Have an attitude of a learner and a trier. If you didn't like those folk songs played over and over again in the public buses of Kathmandu, it doesn't mean every folk songs are going to be boring. Listening to a live event in itself is a new and better experience. Try to learn or observe new things like milking, shearing of wool etc. Try to give equal space and maintain two way learning process with your rural counterparts.

I hope these tips would help you come out of the "Michael" shell and enjoy your trips to far flung remote part of Nepal.