Showing posts with label MY FEELINGS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MY FEELINGS. Show all posts

Thursday, September 15, 2016

WE WILL (HAVE TO) FIND OUR OWN WAY


Its been nearly a month since I have arrived in the US for my graduate study. The experience may be short to come to a concrete conclusion but it certainly has initiated some thoughts.

For a Nepali guy  abroad , especially in the West, two difference strikes the most. One is the functioning system sustained through grids of massive infrastructure and utility services. The other is the individualism that pervades over everything from study classes to your apartment neighbourhood. We as Nepal, would lose our identity if we loose our community interdependence, and certainly would be a poor country if we leave our infrastructure as it is.

The West is not going to teach us ways to develop our infrastructure and promote community interdependence through it. Because they have never done it by themselves. By infrastructure, I don't mean simply big roads and big hydro power projects. Our infrastructure need to support our core values. An example is home stay services provided by some villages in Nepal. Though it requires a clean locality, a regular supply of fresh food and clean water, proper hygiene it is not just another hotel service.  

However, careful implementation of Western sustainable technical advancements correlated with our values brings in success. The success of Manakamana Cable Car is directly derived from the religious values it is associated with. It may not succeed as a general means of transportation, though. It will still take years for apples in our mountains to get its price. However, a distillation centre or a collective enterprise promoted in form of jam and other similar dishes can make the product live longer and even find its price through airways. It will be easier to invest in rather than a mega hydropower project, but in essence shall preserve our values of community interdependence. Cheese factories have survived in remote areas, as it receives government care . A government owned distillary firm may have been a distant thought some decades ago, but with inclusiveness at its highest it might just be an enterprise to break the moral hegemony of Nepal.

And in another case, while states within US have started making revenue out of selling marijuana, we instead spend valuable revenue in curtailing it. As a majority of tourist hubs in Nepal tolerate its use by foreigners it can be at least legalised to foreigners (like casinos) with certain tax levied during the visa for foreigner intending to consume it. Unlike tobacco, marijuana thrives in diversity and community farming  at discrete location shall always able to compete with highly budgeted pharmaceuticals producing it in controlled environment. The revenue thus garnered shall directly trickle to the community and tax is centrally collected through a small tick at immigration.

These are simply thoughts which are bound to have imperfection. However, our journey should begin.  We will (have to) find our own way!









Sunday, May 11, 2014

Ekla Cholo Re - Tagore

 "Bengali Script
যদি তোর ডাক শুনে কেউ না আসে তবে একলা চলো রে।
একলা চলো, একলা চলো, একলা চলো, একলা চলো রে॥
যদি কেউ কথা না কয়, ওরে ওরে ও অভাগা,
যদি সবাই থাকে মুখ ফিরায়ে সবাই করে ভয়—
তবে পরান খুলে
ও তুই মুখ ফুটে তোর মনের কথা একলা বলো রে॥
যদি সবাই ফিরে যায়, ওরে ওরে ও অভাগা,
যদি গহন পথে যাবার কালে কেউ ফিরে না চায়—
তবে পথের কাঁটা
ও তুই রক্তমাখা চরণতলে একলা দলো রে॥
যদি আলো না ধরে, ওরে ওরে ও অভাগা,
যদি ঝড়-বাদলে আঁধার রাতে দুয়ার দেয় ঘরে-
তবে বজ্রানলে
আপন বুকের পাঁজর জ্বালিয়ে নিয়ে একলা জ্বলো রে।।

Romanization[edit]

Jodi tor đak shune keu na ashe tôbe êkla chôlo re,
Êkla chôlo, êkla chôlo, êkla chôlo, êkla chôlo re.
Jodi keu kôtha na kôe, ore ore o ôbhaga,
Jodi shôbai thake mukh firaee shôbai kôre bhôe—
Tôbe pôran khule
O tui mukh fuţe tor moner kôtha êkla bôlo re.
Jodi shôbai fire jae, ore ore o ôbhaga,
Jodi gôhon pôthe jabar kale keu fire na chae—
Tôbe pôther kãţa
O tui rôktomakha chôrontôle êkla dôlo re.
Jodi alo na dhôre, ore ore o ôbhaga,
Jodi jhôŗ-badole ãdhar rate duar dêe ghôre—
Tôbe bojranôle
Apon buker pãjor jalie nie êkla jôlo re.

Hindi translation[edit]

तेरी आवाज़ पे कोई ना आये तो फिर चल अकेला रे
फिर चल अकेला चल अकेला चल अकेला चल अकेला रे
ओ तू चल अकेला चल अकेला चल अकेला चल अकेला रे

तेरी आवाज़ पे कोई ना आये तो फिर चल अकेला रे
फिर चल अकेला चल अकेला चल अकेला चल अकेला रे

यदि कोई भी ना बोले ओरे ओ रे ओ अभागे कोई भी ना बोले
यदि सभी मुख मोड़ रहे सब डरा करे
तब डरे बिना ओ तू मुक्तकंठ अपनी बात बोल अकेला रे
ओ तू मुक्तकंठ अपनी बात बोल अकेला रे

तेरी आवाज़ पे कोई ना आये तो फिर चल अकेला रे

यदि लौट सब चले ओरे ओ रे ओ अभागे लौट सब चले
यदि रात गहरी चलती कोई गौर ना करे
तब पथ के कांटे ओ तू लहू लोहित चरण तल चल अकेला रे

तेरी आवाज़ पे कोई ना आये तो फिर चल अकेला रे

यदि दिया ना जले ओरे ओ रे ओ अभागे दिया ना जले
यदि बदरी आंधी रात में द्वार बंद सब करे
तब वज्र शिखा से तू ह्रदय पंजर जला और जल अकेला रे
ओ तू हृदय पंजर चला और जल अकेला रे

तेरी आवाज़ पे कोई ना आये तो फिर चल अकेला रे
फिर चल अकेला चल अकेला चल अकेला चल अकेला रे
ओ तू चल अकेला चल अकेला चल अकेला चल अकेला रे

Translation into English[edit]

Here is the translation in prose of the Bengali original rendered by Rabindranath Tagore himself.[6]
If they answer not to thy call walk alone
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
If they turn away, and desert you when crossing the wilderness,
O thou unlucky one,
trample the thorns under thy tread,
and along the blood-lined track travel alone.
If they do not hold up the light when the night is troubled with storm,
O thou unlucky one,
with the thunder flame of pain ignite thy own heart,
and let it burn alone." - Rabindra Nath Tagore.
via Wikipedia

(I think this poem has a self sufficient explanation. It would be disrespect to the poet, if you take the below passage as an explanation of a regular poem done in a literature class. The following is just what came across me while listening to the poem. In fact its just a way of convincing myself the greatness of poet's word.)

This poem has helped me many a times! Sometimes you need to walk alone! None may believe you, not because they don't love you, not because they are selfish but just because they can't comprehend what you are up to. Sometimes, you are the only one on your plans and the only one who believes in your ability to deliver.

It helps let go jealousy too! You do get jealous and hurt when somebody who used to accolade you when in the usual theme of the world, now is in somebody else's flank just because you changed your dream! They are right on their own! Probably, they have their own path to walk alone, if they have to! Why would they when their current path is filled with lot of wonderful people? You can't blame a Hanuman devotee women of not remaining unmarried. Even Hanuman's lord Ram was a married guy! Just let that go and walk alone..!

Great people must have! Buddha would have been a foolish prince just like Rana Bahadur Shah (who apparently left Kathmandu to meet his exiled wife in Kashi that let the Rana plan their regime) had he left walking alone until the last moment of Nirvana. None must have believed in Buddha until he attained Nirvana, just like we don't believe in Bamjan being the next Buddha. Its not that Buddha being the man he was didn't love his family and friend ; he had bigger things to do. I wouldn't have blamed Buddha's wife if she had married another guy. Like, she might have her own struggle to walk alone for, let's assume 'women empowerment' in the then royal court. Perhaps, Buddha wouldn't have walked with her out of his penance. She should have walked alone and had she done that even by marrying a new guy to prove a point, she would have been worth it.

So, when I see people stacking up their friend list in Facebook, or giving follow back offer in Twitter; i feel it's okay until they will find an unique path to walk. No chat or tweet will bring them in his path until s/he shows it by himself. You'll have to walk alone and let them go.

And here's Shreya Goshal singing this poem. Have a good day!

Ekla Chalo re: Tagore song by Shreya Goshal





Sunday, April 13, 2014

RUNNING IN CIRCLES

Last week when I returned from a month long stay at Rumjhatar; I was accompanied by a Gurung guy who had already travelled to three countries in search of better job opportunities. He was scheduled to fly to Kuwait within the next two days. What he raised was a very pertinent issue- an issue related to remittance. He used the term called 'ponding' to make his otherwise complex understanding of remittance economy simple. He rightly pointed out that remittance that enters into Nepal doesnot form a pond of capital. It rather stays for a while until the benefitting family decides to buy some foreign goods of luxury or send their children to higher education abroad. Without productivity of our own what remittance is doing is creating pseudo wealth. It appears we are more dependent on foreign items than ever. The money comes in hard, but goes out easy. In a simplistic way, our labor is a form of mortgage which gives us loan that we repay in random installments back to the source. From a new Samsung cellphone to a Nataraj Pencil we are paying installments back to the source. Yeah, we will have that pencil and cellphone to show for our labor, but that means Samsung or Nataraj is now more capable of attracting Nepalese to their factories as well. And there's a visicious circle. We will now be too lazy to open an industry of our own. We will rather work on already established factories of foreign countries and send chunk of our earning back buying the same goods that we produced. As perfect as- "Ghumi  Phiri Rumjhatar".Well, more on that from a student of economics perhaps!  Now I would like to correlate this running on circles issue to other parts of our society.

Let's consider the rap battle leagues that we have in Nepal. Look at the ordinary sense of it. How ordinary the performances are and how ordinary their rap is? The artists are running behind something unfathomable to a normal Nepali. For a colored person born in a Ghetto of a sub urban Western city- a rage of not knowing his own dad may befit cursing his own mom. But, how on Earth could that be possible for guys from Nepal? What they sing completely undermines what our society is built upon and they take it so easily. What is that supposed to communicate even if it is only to guys above 18? Some blame for such outrageously sick form of singing may go to wannabe western themed stars, greedy sponsors or ethically unaware citizens. However, it mainly is because we run blindly in circle of Western 'liberty'. A 'liberty' which appears to be the most democratic as porn stars host their own Oscars but equally dark as government carry out covert mass surveillance. What 'liberty' did we inherit? In the process of inheriting the universal principles of freedom we also let in permeate trends that upsets majority of Nepalese sentiment. In a race to prove our liberty- even though we are the poorest among the poors- we let in things that we did not need at all. Our rap battlists will run the always losing race of pursuing the Western rap battlists. The thing is in their blood but it’s in our head. And why is it their? It’s because somebody poured in money to make us run a losing race. A filthier race too!
Okay enough of that too!

Now imagine a lady in a disco of Kathmandu's rated hotel having been intoxicated by a high quality wine. Imagine some guys taking advantage of her! Imagine the scare that would create in our media. Imagine how fearful you will be sending your sisters and daughters to a late night party again. Now take your turn to take another route to imagine the same. A female laborer in a construction site drinks a local Kodho brewed beverage after hard day at work. Coming out of the Bhatti some guys misbehave with her. Honestly, do you think our media, police and matter of fact most of us; would we care of that as much as the former lady? Did our society permit or differentiated on a lady being intoxicated by wine or by a local beverage some decades ago or has it changed lately? Probably a lady sounds independent drinking high quality wine.

And we are more thoughtful speaking about her case- perhaps we don't want to offend what western liberty has brought- that girls too can enjoy their trip of alcohol. But isn't the female laborer independent too; don't she deserve to have same pint of drink after she works as equally hard as her male counterparts. But where does our  police arrives first? Where do our female right activists move first? Where do our television cameras report first? Clearly to the lady tipsy in wine.  After all the western liberty allows you to drown in 'Western' branded alcohol- that liberty which our upper corporate class has inherited and permeated into our society. And most of us would be normal with our worker lady since like she just had local raksi in a mediocre bhatti- what was she expecting? Shouldn't she have known male who are drunk in wine are more sensible than men who are drunk in Local Kodho? And after all who in the news would be moved by showing of a woman covered in dust being sexually abused. That is not  glamorous , you know? A girl drinking wine and she got abused. Well, many won't want to tell this but the truth is media is knowingly feeding on those female victims to make their crime reporting more glamorous. What irony? What liberty are we persisting with? The liberty to make a sexual offence glamorous!


Another set of people running on crazy confusing circles are our Football fans of the football league of European countries. Honestly, Messi doesn't care if u speak filthy of Ronaldo to make him a superior player. It’s not that calling Manchester Gaychester is going to make Gerrad happy. But why our youths get happy? Well let me put my hypothesis. Football is a fast moving game, 90 minutes and it finishes. However, it has so many tactical maneuvers within that 90 minute, the commentator fails to explain even a  tiny fraction of that. He is just busy telling us the action. So, must of our Nepalese fans (I mean no disrespect to those fans who understand football technically enough)watch this fast heated action and are always on the urge to show themselves off as one who saw matches live. Now that you don't understand the technicality of the game, what do u discuss on? Oh Yeah! Wayne Rooney's wife? Yeah, however bitter does it sound it's the truth- the simple looking game of football is complex tactically and if you got a grasp of it you don't really have time to talk bullshits about footballers and their family. Correspondingly look at cricket, its long to watch and commentators give ample analysis regarding its tactical aspect. And the result is during the IPL, rarely do people call Kohli a gay for his team won even if by a wrong umpiring decision. (And i am not trying to be biased as a cricket fan, that's the easiest example that came into me. You can say the same for sports like golf, moto racing etc.) 

So, when shall we stop running in circles that lead us to nowhere. When shall we stop being what westerners are already good at and just be a mere faint shadow of it. When shall we know the value of ourselves?Maybe this year! Happy New Year 2071 B.S.!



Saturday, November 30, 2013

FEARS AFTER GRADUATING

Now that the four years at college has ended, new sets of dilemma have begun to creep into me. To differentiate between what I want to be and what graduating is forcing upon me has been tougher than what I had expected it to be.


Last week, on a chilly Sunday morning , I was ever so close to getting a job. A real 9-5 job. Fortunately the job was not there for me, and that has given me enough time to ponder upon what changes a 'real' job would bring in me. The changes were horrifying.

With a friend with whom I studied at school, I sat down to analyze what we were up to after graduating. First thing that strike us was we could not go to TU ground to watch Nepal play unless for real coincidence. We could not hang out unless for Friday nights. In fact, the biggest fear was we were about to lose control over our lives, and hand it over to someone else. Someone else who has more money than us, or is more experienced than us or to sum it up the one whom we envy in secret. The one who is yeah not wholly 'free' from burdens of this 'sell your time and skill if you want some money' but ya more free enough to enjoy the same desire as that of ours in a more recurring fashion.

The choice is still ours. We could fight on with what our beliefs are for another extra yard. Every day that passes now without a contract paper with our name on it , is a day which we survived to die another day. The dreams that we built our life on, the control we wished to have on our destiny will slowly fade as we will be another commodity that someone will tame with a whip as wicked as money.

To mark this feeling, I remember two quotes.

Karl Marx, "For as soon as the distribution of labour comes into being, each man has a particular exclusive sphere of activity, which is forced upon him and from which he cannot escape. He is a hunter, a fisherman, a shepherd, or a critical critic and must remain so if he does not wish to lose his means of livelihood."~ The German Ideology

Paraphrasing Osho, "Why do hippies leave their earlier lifestyle begin to settle and marry around 35? Because their mind finally makes them lose their battle to become unique, their mind wins over their being and brings them back to the crowd." ~ The Search
For as soon as the distribution of labour comes into being, each man has a particular exclusive sphere of activity, which is forced upon him and from which he cannot escape. He is a hunter, a fisherman, a shepherd, or a critical critic and must remain so if he does not wish to lose his means of livelihood; while in communist society, where nobody has one exclusive sphere of activity but each can become accomplished in any branch he wishes, society regulates the general production and thus makes it possible for me to do one thing today and another tomorrow, to hunt in the morning, to fish in the afternoon, rear cattle in the evening,criticize after dinner, just as I have in mind, without ever becoming hunter, fisherman, shepherd or critic.
Read more at http://www.notable-quotes.com/m/marx_karl.html#4ucUGpLsypoU7OLO.99
For as soon as the distribution of labour comes into being, each man has a particular exclusive sphere of activity, which is forced upon him and from which he cannot escape. He is a hunter, a fisherman, a shepherd, or a critical critic and must remain so if he does not wish to lose his means of livelihood; while in communist society, where nobody has one exclusive sphere of activity but each can become accomplished in any branch he wishes, society regulates the general production and thus makes it possible for me to do one thing today and another tomorrow, to hunt in the morning, to fish in the afternoon, rear cattle in the evening,criticize after dinner, just as I have in mind, without ever becoming hunter, fisherman, shepherd or critic.
Read more at http://www.notable-quotes.com/m/marx_karl.html#4ucUGpLsypoU7OLO.99
For as soon as the distribution of labour comes into being, each man has a particular exclusive sphere of activity, which is forced upon him and from which he cannot escape. He is a hunter, a fisherman, a shepherd, or a critical critic and must remain so if he does not wish to lose his means of livelihood; while in communist society, where nobody has one exclusive sphere of activity but each can become accomplished in any branch he wishes, society regulates the general production and thus makes it possible for me to do one thing today and another tomorrow, to hunt in the morning, to fish in the afternoon, rear cattle in the evening,criticize after dinner, just as I have in mind, without ever becoming hunter, fisherman, shepherd or critic.
Read more at http://www.notable-quotes.com/m/marx_karl.html#4ucUGpLsypoU7OLO.99
For as soon as the distribution of labour comes into being, each man has a particular exclusive sphere of activity, which is forced upon him and from which he cannot escape. He is a hunter, a fisherman, a shepherd, or a critical critic and must remain so if he does not wish to lose his means of livelihood; while in communist society, where nobody has one exclusive sphere of activity but each can become accomplished in any branch he wishes, society regulates the general production and thus makes it possible for me to do one thing today and another tomorrow, to hunt in the morning, to fish in the afternoon, rear cattle in the evening,criticize after dinner, just as I have in mind, without ever becoming hunter, fisherman, shepherd or critic.
Read more at http://www.notable-quotes.com/m/marx_karl.html#4ucUGpLsypoU7OLO.99
For as soon as the distribution of labour comes into being, each man has a particular exclusive sphere of activity, which is forced upon him and from which he cannot escape. He is a hunter, a fisherman, a shepherd, or a critical critic and must remain so if he does not wish to lose his means of livelihood; while in communist society, where nobody has one exclusive sphere of activity but each can become accomplished in any branch he wishes, society regulates the general production and thus makes it possible for me to do one thing today and another tomorrow, to hunt in the morning, to fish in the afternoon, rear cattle in the evening,criticize after dinner, just as I have in mind, without ever becoming hunter, fisherman, shepherd or critic.
Read more at http://www.notable-quotes.com/m/marx_karl.html#4ucUGpLsypoU7OLO.99
For as soon as the distribution of labour comes into being, each man has a particular exclusive sphere of activity, which is forced upon him and from which he cannot escape. He is a hunter, a fisherman, a shepherd, or a critical critic and must remain so if he does not wish to lose his means of livelihood; while in communist society, where nobody has one exclusive sphere of activity but each can become accomplished in any branch he wishes, society regulates the general production and thus makes it possible for me to do one thing today and another tomorrow, to hunt in the morning, to fish in the afternoon, rear cattle in the evening,criticize after dinner, just as I have in mind, without ever becoming hunter, fisherman, shepherd or critic.
Read more at http://www.notable-quotes.com/m/marx_karl.html#4ucUGpLsypoU7OLO.99

Monday, May 27, 2013

WE ARE ALREADY FIXED! BUT HAVE WE REALIZED?

Now-a-days I don't watch TV as often, especially when I am in pursuit of rapid updates on current affairs. But the fixing scandal in Indian Premier League, the richest tournament in Cricket History, got me glued to the idiot box. I knew it was inevitable and felt sorry for the players who were involved. I cursed from within the glamour lit world of today forcing men to strip off his morale in return of money.

Via memegenerator.net
That day might have ended the same way as others had my dad not asked me for more on 'fixing'. Probably, he got to know of the term through his colleagues as my father doesn't fancy cricket much. I tried to shoot out a precise sentence to satisfy his new born curiosity. I thought for a while only to realize that 'fixing' is bigger than what we generally think of-it is omnipresent in today's world. Dealing with my internal ordeal, I slipped away from my dad giving a quick makeshift reply, like the one you would give to a confusing Viva question.

My mind grew restless the whole day. Sometimes, during my Undergraduate course,I used to find enough time and lonely space to ponder whether I would still have been what I am if I was born to a different society or lets say in Mars. The more I thought the more I became cynical of everything around me. I later resigned to the fact that rather than the heavenly stars that the astrologers believe to fix our destiny its circumstances, culture, ethics, religion etc. around us that makes us what we are. In fact, most of these factors had coupled down to fix my path. The difference between me obeying my 'fixed' path and the cricket players' fixing scandal are separated by a thin line of legitimacy and public perception.

I remember when I was in +2,my parents would buy me any number of Text book in Physics but not a cricket bat. Probably by then, my childhood dream of becoming a cricketer had narrowed down to being a better cricketer at college, but still mindset of my parents, resulting from the tradition(where playing sports at free time is supposed to hamper regular studies) that they were up brought in, did not let me own a proper cricketing bat. That was a less subtle form of fixing as I was equally passionate to both Physics and Cricket. Giving one up for another was a bitter truth that I had realized by then.

However, when I passed out my +2 I was fixed up big time. I realized studying Physics, in most cases, would lead me being a teacher in Nepal. We lacked proper research facilities and the option of studying abroad seemed almost bleak with a one off bad Physics score in Grade 11. Fixed by the circumstances engineering seemed to be the closest option. The education system fixed me to an engineering degree. In most cases, I will get a better girl to marry and more dowry (if i accept) for being an engineer compared to a 'physicist'. My family is happy for my father didn't want me to become a teacher like him, me myself  might have fallen to the lure of 'Er' tag., whatever be the case I was rather helplessly fixed than those IPL fellows. Yet none are arrested or accused of.

So for most Nepalese, lets say a Brahmin boy, we have billions of girls to fall in love and marry as a boy; but well we are at most eligible to some hundreds fixed by what our parents, society, religion thinks amenable to us. And when Nepalese go to vote this time around they shall have the same leaders ahead of them as that of the failed CA. Things are fixed and we shall circle around them until something as radical as nothing that has happened yet shall happen.

Complaining all along,however I feel equally privileged to have my friends and family who helped me protect the core of what I am. I still think the same way that I used to in Grade 5. Whenever I had an opportunity to take decision independently, I feel I have taken it following the same pattern that I followed as a child. I feel proud that I have got my basics intact. Sometimes I feel for persons who were so cool earlier but have changed the belief and their corresponding ambition because the surrounding forced them to. Well its not their fault. We have hypocrites all around and a more than 1000 of years of trends that has such stringent philosophy that your life gets stranglehold for ever. Hopefully, I and you will realize this and be courageous enough to be what we want.

We need to open our eyes to it, realizing the problem, interpreting them and finally producing ways to solve them. WE CAN/SHOULD GET OUT OF THIS FIX!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

WHAT IS SEXY?



So what is sexy. Being sexy should literally mean you are attractive enough for the people of opposite sex(in most of the cases) to want of or at least think of having sex with you. However, things are ridiculous now-a-days with TV, music videos and all glamour. The thing sexy is completely a different thing. Today, being sexy is inextricably linked with what media portrays as "sexy".

When I went to watch a Hindi movie, this Laxmi Puja, one of the actresses kept explicitly stating herself as "sexy". To make that statement look relevant, the film started from a scene where she wore a bikini and dived into sparkling blue water. That is what most of us think sexy is. It occurred to me that irrespective of the actress, anyone(most of Bollywood actresses) wearing the same attire and carrying the same scene would have been tagged "sexy". So, I couldn't stop but think, were the wardrobe and the setup sexier than the heroine herself?

In some other cases, actors who are benevolent enough to strip off are considered sexy. That too surprises me. Neither of us are going to have actual sex with those highly rated, rarely reachable so called shining,hot celebrities. So, when they strip off, they must have lost their sexiness. I mean, if you are not going to have a sexual intercourse with a person, the next closest thing to be sexily close to him/her is watch them naked. So, to be "sexy" they must hide more than reveal, you know to keep that "sexy" curiosity going. Surprisingly, the media acts arcane and rates actors who reveal more as sexy. So, like a creed to be followed, actors continuously crave for movies that demands more of intimate scenes until either the viewers or their age get fed up of such nuisance. The rise and fall of such curiosity driven artificial "being sexy" culture is portrayed in the Vidya Balan's starer "Dirty Picture."

even the cartoons are to be blamed?
The media has presented another horrible prospect through its 24 hour "being sexy" bullshit. A "hero" in a movie  always has a muscular setup, and the heroine has a zero sized figure. Then, they are said to complement each other enough to make the sexy chemistry of the "true love saga" work, while all other shapes and sizes are ridiculously thrown away. Imagine, what would happen if all of the world were had men with six pack abs, and women with fair skin and a skinny figure? Maybe a overweight human would be told as sexy! Through continuous streaming of such propagandist agenda, people of personality other than that approved by the media, begin to impugn whether they are capable of nurturing a proper relationship. An over sized person, is always a subject of joke, and put as one who has to seek advise to date a girl/boy. And none protest to it.

Well, I realized these effects that media put into, when i recalled what sort of girls i got attracted to. In my early teens, i would have not picked a particular shape and size, while for now I certainly prefer the media fed "tall and slim" ones. Maybe, I was to grow this way or those actresses in movies made me think so: that may remain a mystery forever. But, it is certain that the media, is feeding wrong sense of being sexy into us. That is too detrimental as we shall spend more of our time, intellect and resources trying to be sexy in par with the actresses or the actors, who in fact have professionals to help their cause.

To sum it up, if you are a nurse, you are going to be sexy to a doctor, if you take care of your patient reliable and sincerely not necessarily by wearing what Jolie wore to the Oscars.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

BURNING MEMORIES

Lot of us have memories, that trouble us. Memories that makes us feel dumb. Memories that makes us feel low. Memories that makes us feel betrayed. Memories that make us swallow our breath. Memory that twitches our chin Memories that makes us feel remorseful. Memories that make us feel derelict. And still, we can't figure a way to burn those thoughts.

A girl who dumped you for a drunk pervert. Parents who forced you to change your majors at University. Pet that died licking your dose of cocaine. The teachers who graded you low in a Viva because you were on flippers. Friends who left you in a middle of a fight. The child that left you in a old age home. These always remain in your mind. These always hunt you. They come in your dream to suffocate you. It leaves a musty grim patch in your brain. It makes your heart burn deep when you remember of it. But, still you can't kill those things.

So what?

Is your life ruined to hell? Just for petty shake of people who really don't care for you.

You have a way. Face it. And face it hard.

If you have written a poem for the girl as above. Don't burn it outright. Recite the poem every morning until you get the emotion and attachment out of it. Than its your literary creation.Not everybody turns into an Adele, but maybe you get to recite those poems in a college program or among your friends. If your pet dies licking cocaine, that you intended to sniff, maybe the best thing is to quit it. If the teachers graded you low, maybe you turn up to the University in flippers at Convocation day.That very day teacher are helpless and you feel powerful. If your child leaves you in an old age home, write a diary of every day there. Publish it. Or, try publishing it. It's worth trying. It's never too late. It's not a choice but compulsion when it's your time to act selfish to the ones that did it to you first. It's no revenge, it is an attempt to break the chain that surrounds your precious brain

The main thing that you need to remember is you need to burn memories, not physical things related to the memory. That is just not going to help. Instead look at them every once in a while, until you feel the attachment has faded away. Then nothing can shake you up at middle of the night. Nothing can make you feel low. And, finally you are the same man before the event. Once again you are ready to fight. Once again you are ready to dream.


Good Luck!






Sunday, October 21, 2012

TWO KIDS! SAME STORY!!


There are numerous such kids but they  have almost the same story. Here, I try to bring into limelight stories of two such kids whose fate has taken them away from home, in pursuit of a little money and better fooding; however at expense of education. Two such kids that I have recently met are Shere and Azhmed Ali.I could have had their photos here, however a lack of proper camera phone is really taking a toll on my blogging. Although, I am trying to stick with my current set until the end of my engineering degree.

Shere: Shere is a delightful and humble kind of kid working at a restaurant near Kathmandu University. He must be of 10 years of age. He possess a beautiful smile and that coupled with innocence of tender age results into direct affinity from the customers, which the restaurant in itself seem to benefit from. His family lives at Koshipari, a rural setting in the hills of Dolakha, East from Kathmandu. Dolakha is where my forefathers have settled for generations. We  have close relatives and some property there. So, I find myself attached to people from Dolakha.
These two might just represent the kids.
Courtesy: http://www.fotothing.com/photos/
Shere was sent to school, but he did not take liking to it. He turned truant, left the school, probably hearing wonderful stories of the city and due to excesses of unnecessarily martinet teaching personnel. The teachers in Nepal, take physical punishment as integral part of the education system. This makes education a heavy duty for kids especially who have much to do at home or average at certain subjects.

Just before the Dashain vacation, as the number of customer withered away I got an opportunity to interact with him. He came to Kathmandu by himself with the cook of the restaurant- who is much older than him but he had somehow done schooling till the 6th grade. I wanted to make him return to the village, and begin to go back to school. He seem to shyly oblige. I along with the cook gave him some simple logic. Even if he had to do away with daily diet of meat and rice (that is a much better supplement in both taste and nutrition compared to what he gets back at home), he could make it up in his adulthood owing to better education. I reminded him, even to work in better paying restaurants of Kathmandu, education was essential since he needed to note down and read orders, calculate prices etc.

He might have got his lesson, in the tiny stint he had working away from home. He must have missed his parents and friends of his age. Now when he goes back home, he shall be a star among his friends and a nuisance among his parents and teachers. His wonderful stories of the city, the boys in well pressed shirts and smooth denim and girls with clean hair and fitting apparels would be new story to his pals. If this experience increases his morale and that improves his confidence in being a good student, it would really turn his life on its head. I sincerely hope and pray, he doesn't return back to the same hotel, and maybe I get to see him only after years as an educated smart man doing great at whatever he takes up in future.

Azhmed Ali: I met this kid just for a day, at the occasion of Phulpati. He must be aged around 8-10 (however I have a gross ability of guessing ages). He was at Tudikhel, and began voluntarily fielding for us. He would field at fine leg, a fielding position in Cricket where the ball tends to go regularly especially if u have average playing conditions. He was a prodigy if we are concerned with his cricketing ability. He threw the ball in a technical manner, fielded in bumpy outfield putting his body behind every ball and diving (not in the air however) to gather balls away from him. He just got to bat a few deliveries at the end, which is a very obvious however painful of a story of any young cricketer playing with adults. However, he swung  the bat which was relatively heavy for a kid of his age, above his head to connect bouncing balls and still managed to connect them to get them away up to conventional mid on position, that's like 40 yards away from his batting position.

As we returned, I asked him in which class he studied. He said, he did not go to school. That made me slightly angry. I don't know why but I felt angry for our country which would trade cheap labour out of these kids at a young age , and later make them a comrade of their stupid politics and desert their agenda after getting to power. He was from Janakpur. Regarding Janakpur, it has a strong connection with me. My mom was raised up in Janakpur. I was born in a hospital of Janakpur, and we constantly visited our great grandmother who resided in Janakpur until she passed away due to old age. We used to call her ghuyya aama ( as we had to travel in bus to reach her).I still adore visiting temples around Janakpur.

This poor kid, has his father working at one of the Gulf countries. His mother lives back in Janakpur. He was left by his dad to work at a Saree embroidery shop near Maitidevi. As Maitidevi is in my route back home, I offered him a ride in the Safa tempo. He had a monthly salary of Rs 3000 ( roughly US dollars 40). Surprisingly, he had a brother who studied back home. As we boarded the tempo, I showed him "Maitidevi" written in the rear side of the tempo. I told him if he had studied he would have understood it. As he seemed so interested in cricket, I persuaded him in another way. I asked him if he watched cricket in TV. He answered positive. I asked him if he understood scores written in TV. He said no. Perhaps, that moment he must have realized education was required even to be a cricketer. At least I pointed that out for him, and suggested he could enjoy the game even more back home at Janakpur.

I told him the same as that to Shere. Go back home and enroll in a school. Don't run away even if the teachers punished him. He promised me he would go home back after a month. I myself got off at Maitidevi, as it was Dashain time and I needed to fulfill my mother's desire of visiting temples. His teeth was all brown. I bought him a brush and asked him to brush regularly. He seemingly obliged. He promised to return back home in a month. I said I was a local of Maitidevi and  gently threatened him that it would not go down well with me if I was to see him again after a month. And out of nowhere, he brought up his hand to make a hand shake. I was surprised. A kid who was fumbling with words just an hour ago, now was confident enough to shake hands. I hope he thought of going back home, studying well and pursuing his dream to be a cricketer. I hope he would do good and luck would see him shake hands with the current rising stars of Nepal like Prithu Baskota and Chandra Saud who would be his seniors if he ever made it to the National team.

I will try to  remember these two kids for ever. And, if they made a name for themselves, I would selfishly draw myself some credit. Maybe, it was small time and money for me, but their experience with me might change their entire lives. Studying amateur palmistry, it occurred to me that smallest of the lines might have biggest of the impacts in a person's life. I just can hope that their encounter with me can change their life. May Durga Mata bless them both this Dashain.